A Burden of a Girl - Part 2

I hope this post will inspire anyone include myself

While reviewing my previous posts, my eyes stopped at a post that is posted at November 2008, and I re-read that. Suddenly, an idea came up in my head. I've an idea to continue that post, so I write this post. Ok, as you can see in the title, this post is the next part of my previous post, titled A Burden of A Girl. Again, I don't have permission to continue telling this story yet, from her. And of course I'm still hiding her identity. More over, I just write this based on MY PERCEPTION.

Because this post is the continuation of the previous part, please read it before or you will be confused.

After being closer with her, I noticed that her burden is more than she said. The problem I said is still true, her first ex-boyfriend still remains in her heart, about 50% of her heart, she said. She can't easily forget that because like I said (If you find 'like I said' again, please re-read the previous part).

Like I said, there was 4 sollution. Although she shouted that one suited is the 4th sollution, she never could do it. In my perception, she took 3rd sollution. And then, who is the 'someone' like I said?? Luckily, she tought that she already found the 'someone'. Lets call the 'someone' as 'he', so there will be just 2 main person in this story, she and he. She found him close to her, but still a new person in her life.

Both of them become closer and closer. At the first time, he didn't feel anything for being closer. But after time to time, he realized that in his heart, something called feel is blooming. But what he did is too unnatural for him. He didn't know how to act when she getting further. He overdo it. He never realized that she don't like that attitude.

And then, he tried to be closer when she getting further. He isn't a person who likes to wait for faith. He wants to decide his faith by himself. So he tell her what his feeling, but not in suited condition. Maybe at the worst situation. I think you know what happened.

After that, I thought that he still had a chance. But again, he overdo it. His mental was unstable, so everything he did was wrong in her sight. And now, maybe he don't have any chance again. She is getting further.

The truth is, for her, he is like a doppleganger (i don't know how to write) of someone in her past memory. She tought he will be as replacement. Because her memories about past time, long ago, still remain. But after being closer, she realized that he is different. Althought that, she still has something called feel. But, because of his 'unpredictable-too-logical' attitude, she decided to kill her feeling. And it started like that, getting worse for him. Oh, poor guy...

Now, he is regretting all what he done. He wants to be closer again, he wants to give his feel to her, but now that is so hard. His feeling never be neutral again. Because that is his natural characteristic. Hard to fall, and hard to forget (maybe impossible).

She called his attitude as obsession. He has rejected that perception. Whatever... And now she is trying to neutralize him. I think that is useless.

He is still hoping a miracle will happen. He is following time's flow. It's not suited with his attitude, but he has to be patient. As the closest person, I have to support him alltime.

Just intermezo, I'm the one who know him best. What he overdid, is to test her. He is a person who always test everyone near him. Whatever come out from him, is a test. He is not the person like she thought. He was too aggresive to ask because he wants to test her. He wants to know whether "she is really the one" he's been searching for (Like a song lyric). And the answer, she is the really one. But what happens is far from what he imagine. Because she is too emotional person. But now he is still regreting what he did. He promised, as the miracle happens, he will never do it again. He will give her just happy things, no more testing, because he has known that she is really the one.

Now I lost contact with her. I don't know what her condition now. What I want to say, now he become a new burden for her. But from what I know, it's easy for her to forget him. Because now she is getting closer with her 2nd ex-boyfriend. Although her past memory who involved him too still remains, she is now happy with her condition. So he is not really a new burden. Poor for him who always wondering what happens.

What I really know is his condition. Poor guy, who don't know what he should do know. I thought, the most bad person, is a person who don't know what to do, like him now. Everything he did is wrong for her. But I've to support him, since I'm the only one close to him.

Note:
- I couldn't write all situation (based on my perception). As I remember what happened, I'll update this post.
- Since I wrote this post based only on my perception, if you're the girl who were in this post, if there is any wrong sentence in this post, please tell me. I don't know the reality yet. Whether you leave a comment, call my phone, send an sms, meet me, or anything. But I don't want to respond anything from FS's private message. I'm bored with that.
- If you're anyone who is involved in this post, please be gentle to leave a comment with your identity. Don't just blaming behind the internet protocol.
- If you're just ordinary reader, it's up to you.
- If you're ME, don't ever forget what you write. This will be your future memories.